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Hey Everyone. Long time no post. I know I haven't been around in forever. If you are not reading my site because you are considering a gastric bypass, you don't need to read this post as that is all this one is about. For the rest of you loyal non-bypass readers, I will be posting another personal journal entry soon. PROMISE. LOL For those of you looking at my site for advice about the gastric bypass... read on. After I lost so much weight and got my life back, my life got really busy!!! I figured I should post an update because there are people out there that are reading this and are newbies to the idea of WLS (weight loss surgery) and could probably use another success story to ease their nerves. I can't believe it has been almost 2 years since I had the gastric bypass roux-n-Y. Time flies when you're having fun, eh? Alright, first off, for those that have forgotten or don't know me, my name is Jenna and I am 28 years old. When I began considering having the surgery, I was 26 at the time and I finally was approved and had my WLS on 7-18-06, 3 weeks after turning 27. I had a starting weight of 244 with a BMI of around 39 but also had diabetes from my weight and mild sleep apnea, as well as other non-co morbidities like high cholesterol, acid reflux and stuff. I had never been that heavy before and I was miserable, though I didn't even realize how much so at the time. It's amazing to look back and wonder how I ever "let myself get that fat." I see pictures of myself and can hardly recognize that girl anymore. I was always hungry so I think I was in denial and used that to enable myself into eating for comfort (emotional hunger) by telling myself it was for fuel (physical hunger). I now understand that it wasn't completely the case. The way I look at food has completely changed. COMPLETELY. I eat for energy now and sometimes for pleasure too. But not pleasure in the way I used to eat. My life no longer revolves around food; now food revolves around my life. It is 99% for fueling my body and keeping me healthy and fit. The other 1% of the time is on an anniversary or holiday when there is a special meal prepared and I enjoy those foods more than my everyday items. But what has changed in that enjoyment is what I am finding the pleasure in. Instead of "enjoying" myself with something sweet that is full of empty carbs (basically sugar) and fat and other disgusting non-nutrients, I now find "pleasure" in steamed asparagus prepared with a hint of delectable seasonings. I enjoy a treat like that now the way I used to, and some of you still do, enjoy a donut or ice cream sundae. The latter two things, which 2 years ago would have both been on my top 5 list of favorite foods of all time, are hideous to me. Seriously. How foreign is that to you? I bet it sounds absolutely crazy huh? You think I'm lying don't you? I would have, had I been reading this 2 years ago. Oh my gosh would I have called the writer of this post a liar. But I swear to you, it's true. Those things do not even look remotely appealing to me anymore and if you follow the rules and plans that the other successes at this surgery suggest, this will happen for you as well. Someday you will find your mouth watering over asparagus (not buttered or loaded with carbs, mind you, but actual healthy greens!!) the way you used to look at (or look at currently) your favorite dessert. Anyway, enough about that. I am still not done losing yet although my doctors are thrilled with my results and that I have maintained this weight for so long but honestly, I'd like to shave off a few more pounds or if nothing else, gain more muscle mass. That is the stage I'm at now, maintaining and muscle building. Looking back, I'm not sure I ever thought being "here" was possible for me. I was too far gone, too fat, too out of shape, whatever other excuse I gave myself... yet here I am and I have NEVER been healthier. Not even in high school when I looked good. I currently weigh "a buck fifty" as I like to say, meaning 150 pounds and I am 5'6" with two beautiful children and an ecstatic husband. My goal for myself was 129 but it wasn't realistic for my height and bone structure. I used to talk with a lady on my support group on MSN who was in her 40's and was 130 and I was sooooo jealous and she was my inspiration for choosing 129 as my goal, however, I forgot to take things into consideration like muscle mass and bone structure. Don't make that mistake and set unrealistic goals that will enable you to not meet them and then give up and go back to your old ways. I am no longer overweight. I remember when my doctor first told me I was no longer morbidly obese. Then again when I was no longer obese I was in awe! But then to be no longer in the overweight category... that was a dream I could not wrap my head around. To be in "normal" on weight charts was a feeling I had not experienced in so so so many years. I have currently lost 94 pounds and am at 24 BMI. I take my vitamins every day and all my levels are perfect. I have been "cured" of diabetes, acid reflux, high cholesterol and sleep apnea. I strive off protein but I don't get it through thick shakes or powders anymore. My current favorite meal is boneless skinless grilled chicken breasts and fresh greens, especially raw spinach. I don't even bother with most carbs anymore and never eat pasta or breads. I get plenty of the good carbs through the other foods I choose such as fat free yogurt or skim milk which both contain lots of calcium and other essential nutrients not to mention that the yogurt aids in healthy digestion. And I adore cheese, especially pepper jack, just be careful to watch the fat. Life is fabulous. There are so many truly delicious foods out there that you have yet to discover because you are stuck in this rut of emotionally eating and not truly tasting your food! Taste is a sense I took for granted for so long!!! Now I thrive off of tantalizing scents and tastes of healthy foods that are good for my body. I used to fear I would go back to the old me someday. Now I can say that I honestly can't imagine being that person again. So much has changed about how I view food and exercise and everything concerning health. I'm not preaching or saying I'm perfect. And even at this far out, occasionally I will try a brand new food that does not agree with me and I will dump again! It still sucks but it is an important process of learning and changing. I only eat off the small salad plates or pudding bowls, never off regular sized dishes. I take small bites, chew thoroughly, eat slowly, savor my meal and really taste it. I also only use the small forks because then it is not so difficult to remember to take small bites. I would urge you to use only the smallest of your dishes and utensils too, for the same reason... portion control. I can't cook at all, and my husband rarely wants to so we eat out a lot (which is a huge strain on our budget and we are trying to stop). But my point is, at restaurants I almost never even bother looking at the regular menus unless my goal is to find something that I can break into 4 meals or so. Instead I turn to the high protein appetizers or glance at the honors menu and then show the server my bypass card (you can get one from your doctor!) and request a half size of something from the honors (senior citizens) menu. I have never been given a problem by this, even though I am no where near old enough to be ordering off the honors menu. All restaurants, at least in my area, are totally cool with this practice. Hopefully you will find the same in your town. I don't have much more to say other than to close with this. Right after surgery I hurt so badly I could not figure out why I had gone through with this. I read posts from people twice my size who bounced back so quickly and 3 days later were taking walks and shopping at the mall. I thought I was going to be the person that failed this surgery. (Yes, we ALL think that at some point don't we?!) It took me much longer to bounce back. Then at a couple months out I couldn't keep anything down, I was told I had a stricture (the opening to your pouch is too small) that had to be stretched, other people I knew that had the surgery were dropping weight so quickly and mine was going so slowly... etc etc. I remember at about 6 months out, talking to two of my good friends at work and telling them how miserable I was and how I would not suggest this surgery to my worst enemy. Yep, it was a rough road. This surgery is not an easy fix. It is not magic. It is simply a tool that you must use to do it yourself. Only YOU can do this. The surgery will only aid you. YOU have to stop shoving crap into your mouth and YOU have to get up off your butt and start moving. YOU. Do you get it? A hammer is only a tool. A hammer will not build a house for you. YOU have to build the house. Everyone knows that. You don't get to lie on your butt on a lounge chair and watch your hammer gracefully build your house for you. DUH. Yet for some stupid reason, be it false media attention or bad doctor's advice, or whatever, people look at this surgery as if it will do all the work for them! WHY?! That is stupid, people. Just like a hammer, this surgery is only a tool. It will only work IF YOU MAKE IT WORK. Don't put crap into your body and don't lie around wasting your life away. Get up and move, dance, run, play, work hard, and eat for fuel and taste it. If you do this, before you realize what has happened, you will be sitting here typing a post like this at 20 months post op too. Also, don't do this for anyone but you. Sure, I wanted to have energy to make love to my husband and play with my kids, but ultimately I had to do this for me or it wasn't going to happen and I believe that is true for everyone. This is hard people. There are going to be times when you feel like you are either going to die or you wish you would! There will be times when you regret having it done and wouldn't wish it on anyone else. But those times WILL pass. I PROMISE. Just keep working hard and doing what you are supposed to do. Listen to posts from people who have been there. They can be your lifeline. They were for me. Don't listen to someone who got fat again. They obviously did it wrong. Those people did not understand that this is a tool, like a hammer, and nothing more. I am 28 1/2 years old, healthy and happy. I have confidence and energy and LOVE LIFE like never before. This surgery has helped me changed my life, find out who the person inside me actually is versus the fat girl I appeared to be on the outside, and I finally realized my dreams and passions. I went back to school last fall and am now almost through my freshman year of my bachelor's degree in Interior Design! My marriage is thriving, my kids are excelling, and I am happier than I have ever been before, despite several heartbreaks in my personal life over the past 20 months including 4 deaths in my close family, among many other catastrophes. I have a reason for living now. You can do it too. Hugs, Jenna 4-6-08 150 pounds.... 94 pounds lost. Gastric Bypass... $40,000+ (thank God for insurance) and a lot of hard work Being the happy, healthy, confident, beautiful girl I am today... $Priceless
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